Attack Of The Mayan Mummy

Attack Of The Mayan Mummy is the story of...uh...I'm not really sure. Let me break it down for you. Two guys talk in a room for like ever. Then we cutaway to a completely different movie with voiceover narration about a pyramid in the Yucatan. I'm not sure why. Then we cut back to the two talking dudes, and they talk for years and years and years.

This goes on for awhile; with the explaining, and the cutaways, and more explaining, and it's totally obvious these are two different movies in two different languages scotch-taped together. One movie has a cast, and art direction, and sets. The other movie has two guys talking and a desk.

Suddenly, and with very little warning; teenagers dance in a nightclub. Someone drinks a Coke. Then there's more explaining. Then hours and hours of hypnotic regression happens, and we see a ritual and a pyramid, and I'm glad it's not with the two boring guys talking at a desk. It might be a chunk of a completely different movie, but it's hard to tell. Someone in an outlandish head-dress sings, and for a minute I think it might be Yma Sumac. Let's see:

Nope, I'm still not sure. Anyway, people dance around carrying bowls of salad, I think. Someone tunelessly plays a mysterious wind instrument forever, but it's so shrill and ear-rendering it should be called a wind instrument of torture.

Finally, the mayan mummy makes an appearance, but it's nothing to write home about. I watched Attack Of The Mayan Mummy on Youtube. Sorry, there doesn't seem to be a clip.