The worst samurai in the world busts into a house and kills his wife and lover in slo-mo, causing them to haunt it. A couple of hundred years and one avocado-colored refrigerator later, a boring American couple move in. Features wooden acting, shaky camera-work, several boring conversations that go from emotionless to histrionics in a flash of an eye, and a couple of chemistry-free love scenes for some reason accompanied by a twinkling piano score that would make Rachmaninoff vomit. Glacially paced and very corny, this film has cliched double-exposure ghost effects, a soft-core Love Boat vibe, and a LOL-inducing crab attack. At one point someone says, "There's an awful face in my soup", and they really mean it, I guess. Terrifying for those afraid of bad acting, uninteresting people and things that aren't very scary. On Netflix Instant Streaming. You should find something else constructive to do, but watching the crab filled trailer below wouldn't hurt you.
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