Monday, September 19, 2011

Crucible Of Horror: Terrible Movies: Terrible Movies #189

According to wikipedia, 'a crucible is a container used for metal, glass, and pigment production as well as a number of modern laboratory processes, which can withstand temperatures high enough to melt or otherwise alter its content'. Needless to say, there are no crucibles in Crucible Of Horror, and very little horror of any variety. The plot goes a little something like this: An exceedingly well-mannered British family gets bothered by stuff, but because they're exceedingly well-mannered, you can't really tell. Well, at least until the beatings start. Becoming fed up with dad's bullcrap, the wife and daughter go to great lengths to poison him until he's dead, but that just seems to make him mad as his corpse turns up in awkward situations and at inopportune times, usually by the mail. There's a lot of pretentiously shot handwashing, wig changing, and poisonings; where the camera stares longingly into mirrors and bodies of water, and you attempt to stifle a yawn. I watched it on Netflix Instant Streaming, and wish I hadn't. Here's a crucible-free trailer:

Oops, sorry. No trailer. I think I'm the only person who's ever watched this film. I could be wrong. I've been wrong before.

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