A family attempts to outrun a 200 mph glacier in this Asylum film. In the year 2012, which is the perfect year for a glacier-based apocalypse, volcanoes unconvincingly explode causing a crudely-rendered glacier to crash into Maine and characters to talk on walkie-talkies for 7 minutes of screen-time. Then there's some unconvincing family-time, an unconvincing traffic jam, an unconvincing airport terminal, and unconvincing parking in Manhattan for $5. Then there's some unconvincing gigantic icicles, unrealistic snow, excessive close-ups, an unconvincing senator's office, and lots of familial bickering. You'll also find some Times Square green screen shots, a miraculous Mitsubishi that can outrun a speeding mile-high glacier, a brand-new disposable college friend, confusing geography, flash-frozen Bostonians, crushed hitch-hikers, Birdemic-esque geese, car-jacking hoboes, an unconvincing Lincoln Tunnel, Cessna-based family comedy, and a miraculous Dodge Ram minivan conveniently filled with bomb-making materials.
Watching 2012: Ice Age, I found myself filled with questions. Is this scene supposed to be happening in the daytime, or at night? How many tornadoes can actually be caused by a speeding glacier in one film? Can grown men be pinned under Intermetro modular shelving units? Does the National Guard often thwart coat-jackings during glacier-based crises? The answer to those questions are Yes, 3, Yes, and What the hell is a coat-jacking?; but that's answering a question with a question, and it's not really important right now. Watch this film and find out. It's highly recommended if you like stuff that sucks.
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