A television reporter and cameraman are locked inside an apartment building in this terrifying shaky-cam horror film. Shot in that JJ Abrams/found footage/reality style; the tension builds throughout from the deliberately obscured action, the effective lighting, and the false startles. There are deep focus shots down darkened hallways, shots through barely cracked windows, and lots of screaming and running and bleeding and biting. A completely effective effort, and I jumped several times. I watched [rec] on Crackle in a dubbed version and I would rather have seen it in the original Spanish with subtitles, but beggars can't be choosers. Here's a trailer, but the less you know about it the better:
Killing Bono is the true story of two friends who started bands in high school. One guy's band went nowhere. The other guy's band was U2. Killing Bono was well-shot and well-acted, and honestly, I just picked it because the title was intriguing. During the film I kept wondering to myself if Bono was actually going to die in the movie, but then I realized he doesn't because he's still alive making music and saving the rainforest and getting Nobel Peace Prizes or whatever it is that rock stars do. I don't wish Bono any particular harm; but he can be a bit much with the sunglasses and the rock-star posturing and the earnestness and whatnot, so I'm not ashamed to say I crossed my fingers for a moment and half-hoped he might get crushed by a falling safe or something. Does that make me a bad person? Don't answer that because I already know the answer. It's a moot point anyway. Spoiler alert: Bono survives. Regardless, I enjoyed the rivalry between the two bands, even though it was always one-sided. Side-note: Every time I wrote Bono in this review I misspelled his name as Bobo. I'm not sure why. Yes, I do. It's because I'm a bad person. I watched Killing Bono on Netflix. Here's a trailer:
I'm really behind in everything. I've let everything go. I haven't watched many movies, and I haven't blogged much, either. I've been trying to get stuff done around the house since I'm a big DIY sort of guy; which means I follow the directions on the packages of the stuff I buy from the chain warehouse fixer-upper store, cut my hands, mash my thumbs, put it together wrong, and have the results not function properly and look like crap. And due to circumstances beyond my control I haven't been able to watch bad movies; and by 'circumstances beyond my control' I mean Mrs. Deathrage would't let me watch them the past few days because she 'wants to watch something good for a change'.
Well, I showed her because we watched something kind of lousy. Stupidity is a documentary about the little researched area of humans doing dumb stuff. It's done in that rapid-fire editing style where a whole bunch of brief snippets of people doing dumb stuff are thrown at the screen while a narrator talks about how everything's going to Hell in a handbasket. I was not impressed, and I think I've seen it before. I could put forth a little effort and do the research to see if I actually have seen it before, but meh. I don't wanna, and I don't care that much. I'm just going to sit here and apply more antiseptic ointment to my various home improvement injuries. I really should hire someone to do my home improvement for me. I watched Stupidity on Snagfilms. Here's a trailer, but it looks like crap and it's slightly NSFW due to language and brief pixilated nudity:
A helicopter is attacked by a pterodactyl and it crash-lands amongst stock footage of Antarctica in this Jock Mahoney film that doesn't have anything to do with Tarzan. There's a carnivorous tentacle plant, rear-projection Komodo dragons, and a guy dressed up in an awkward rubber T-Rex suit. I watched it on youtube. Here's a trailer:
A voiceover narrator attempts to say Overlords Of The UFO as many times as possible in this implausible documentary. Overlords Of The UFO has all the required elements of a shoddily assembled 1970s pseudo-scientific documentary about UFO Overlords: blurry still photos, suspect eyewitness interviews, National Enquirer headlines, and Uri Geller. If I were you, I would skip ahead to the footage of a UFO that seems to be various kitchen implements glued together and held aloft by fishing line. It's almost totally worth sitting through the rambling nonsensical script about The Overlords Of The UFO. But not quite.
Wait a minute! You don't have to sit through the whole movie, because that clip is right here!
Yikes. I watched Overlords Of The UFO on youtube and it was pretty lousy.
Some scientists go to the jungle in search of rocks, I think, in this sci-fi film. I'm not sure why. Then the cast wears panama hats, sarongs, neckerchiefs and pith helmets. For some reason, a badly realized blue smear in the river causes someone to drown and then there's a glowing mouse. There's an incessant chirping noise throughout the film, and I think it's supposed to be a jungle bird, but I'm not sure. Then someone paints a portrait of someone standing on a raft at the base of a waterfall. I'm not sure why. For the briefest of moments we actually get to see what I assume is an Omegan running through the jungle foliage, but I could be wrong. I don't think it really matters. The Omegans reminds me of The Portrait Of Dorian Grey meets Aguirre, The Wrath of God; which is a really terrible idea if you think about it. I watched The Omegans on youtube. Here's a clip:
Several boors shoot a movie in a house where there were approximately seven corpses in this not-very-horrifying horror film. People nitpick one another, bitch about stuff, and wear lavender turtlenecks. I'm not sure why. Thankfully, there is a shambling rotting corpse near the end of the movie, and that's not too bad; but you have to suffer through a lot of sudsy crapola to get to it. I have never understood why people in horror movies go to the house/crypt/island/dungeon/torture chamber where the unspeakable terror/murder/killing spree/bigfoot attack/alien abduction occurred and then are surprised when something awful happens. Oh yes I do, it's because it's fun and I do it as often as I can. I watched The Hosue Of Seven Corpses on youtube. Here's a clip, but it's from the end of the movie. If you don't want this spoiled movie spoiled, I wouldn't watch.
