A lost and frightened kitten cries pitifully in a field of wildflowers while demented calliope music plays for what seems like my entire life. The credits roll, and women scream, sometimes in sync with the kitten's plaintive cries. It's a pathetic spectacle, and it only gets worse. Cindy Williams carries a plate of brownies. Dick Van Patten leads a group of boy scouts. Mules and chickens get valuable screen time. Raspberry preserves and strawberry gelatin are abundant. Someone says, "Would you like a hair sculpt?". Larry Hagman directs ineptly, however I have to give him props for an auteur-like scene shot from floor level featuring a Russian wearing a fez and cuddling a dog while in a sudsy bathtub, and a tenacious bowling alley blob rampage finale. They were both terrible, but he can have the props anyway. On Netflix Instant Streaming.
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