Secret Origins: The Story Of DC Comics

I was always a DC fan. Now don't get me wrong, I do enjoy Marvel, too. But I always liked DC better, due to their unabashed goofiness. Marvel was always so serious. Pound for pound, DC had far more goofy, useless, and confusing heroes than Marvel. Let's break it down, shall we? Let's start from the beginning. Here's my version of DC's history called Secret Origins: The Story Of DC's Useless Heroes.

There was a group of superheroes in the Golden Age of Comics known as the Justice Society. I love them. They were featured in the comic book known as All-Star Comics. Two of their members are two of my favorite useless heroes. The first one is Red Tornado.

Clad in long-johns and wearing a cooking pot for a helmet, most of her exploits involve splitting her pants. I love her. She's awesome. Next is Mr. Terrific.

Mr. Terrific is "The Man Of 1000 Talents", but I'd be hard pressed to say I've ever seen him display a single one. In the page above, he rescues a cat, which is what people need their superheroes to do and could be argued doesn't need a lot of talent. Then in the 1950s, The Phantom Stranger appeared.

Dressed in a fedora and cape, The Phantom Stranger has almost omnipotent powers but never seems to use them. He just sorts of appears in the first panel of his comics and never appears again until the end. He's great. Later in the decade The Legion Of Super Heroes appeared, and boy, were they filled with awesome, useless super heroes.

The comic above features Ferro Lad, a guy who could turn into solid iron. He saved Earth from a villain called the Sun Eater, but was killed in the process. I love it when DC kills off their characters, as long as they stay dead. Mr. Terrific was killed back in 1978, and I think he stayed that way. As you can see, Ferro Lad became a ghost, which is pretty cool.

And finally, the panel above features Matter Eater Lad, a hero who can eat anything. Here he is chomping down on a ray-guy, which is probably very useful in the 30th century. Matter Eater Lad is so awesome, Guided By Voices wrote a song about him.

So, there's that. I could go on and on about DC's Useless Heroes (I'm talking about you Legion Of Substitute Heroes!), but I'm sick of it.

I greatly enjoy the comic books of the Golden and Silver Age. A) They're goofy, fun, and simple. B) They're hard to acquire. And C) They're valuable.

Anyway, Secret Origins: The Store Of DC Comics is a well-made documentary featuring interviews with Neal Adams, Joe Kubert, and Neil Gaiman and many shots of beautiful, colorful comic book covers from throughout DC's history.