Thursday, February 9, 2012

Santo Vs. The Martian Invasion


Luchadores who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Martian wrestlers sporting peroxide mullets while wearing metallic capes, magical belts that make Earthlings disappear with a "boi-yoi-yoing" sound, and metal helmets with an Astral Eye in the center of them have the gall to criticize Santo for his bedazzled cape in this confusing wrestling film. Santo wrestles Martians at a soccer match, in a wrestling club, in a wrestling ring, at the park, and sometimes the wrestling holds make me wonder if I'm watching a fight or a love story. Sometimes people look at one another for an uncomfortably long period of time, sometimes they watch a lot of television, and sometimes Astral Eyes cause them to disappear to the sound of a slide whistle. The Martians become concerned their appearance scares non-Martians so they all step into a foggy room that magically makes them all wear togas which is a costume Earthlings under threat of being incinerated or kidnapped to Mars often find reassuring. Interplanetary spacecraft usually have rooms like that as standard equipment because that's a thing invading forces are often worried about and you never know when you need to change everyone's gold lame outfit at once. That's seems reasonable, I guess, dedicating an entire foggy toga costume changing room to your spaceship when from the outside it looks like two metal bowls Scotch taped together dangling from a string. That's fine. I watched Santo Vs. The Martian Invasion on Youtube. Here's a clip that has only a minuscule amount of wrestling in it:




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