Thursday, March 7, 2013

Metal Tornado


The guy from the movie La Bamba and one of the stars of television's BJ & The Bear appear in this movie about a metal tornado. Through the magic of some unconvincing CGI, solar flares are captured which get transformed into magnetism, and there's a mishap which creates a cruddy CGI tornado with the awe-inspiring power to knock a guy unconscious with a can of soup. As with actual tornadoes, the Metal Tornado seems to have a grudge against farms because it wreaks havoc on a chicken coop, destroys a barn, crushes a guy with a tractor, and stabs a guy with sharp farm implements. There's a twist (yeah, I did that), because evidently a second Metal Tornado doesn't really like France that much either because it levels the Eiffel Tower and destroys Paris. Sadly, it's not very interesting. Avoid Metal Tornado unless you're just really into watching movies where people talk on phones, or text, or read emails, or pretend to type, or use zip-drives.


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