Hold on tight, we've got a lot to talk about. Two unconvincing surgeons remove silver bullets from a dead werewolf knowing full well that has a distinct possibility of reviving said werewolf, and they are then killed when that exact thing happens. A dimly lit werewolf rampage through the woods accompanied by the sounds of a Halloween sound effects record then results. It sounds a little like this:
...and by a little, I'm mean almost exactly. Then a kaleidoscopic dissolve in a discotheque happens to dialogue about devilish rituals, because that's a thing that needs to occur while you're getting down and getting funky in the seventies. Some chick drinks blood out of a golden antelope horn in the distant past I think, and I bet antelope horns are tough to clean and probably shouldn't go in the dishwasher. Lightning flashes, thunder crashes, and girls with Jaclyn Smith and Shelly Hack haircuts pout wearing skimpy lingerie. Then there's a cat fight in a torture shack, some girl-on-girl bodice ripping, and some girl-on-girl ointment application.
The blue eyeshadow wearing Charlie's Angels chicks go on a hike in the woods with Paul Naschy, and I don't think that's a very good idea since he's listed first in the credits of this movie about werewolves and vampire women. Some unconvincing crypt openings happen, some unconvincing fog on a sunny day rolls in, and blood drips into the wide-open mouth of a mummified corpse; but that last part was pretty cool. A rotting monk corpse runs around for some reason, and that's also pretty cool, and there's a couple of mist-shrouded spooky corridors filled with vampire chicks running in slo-mo; but there's also some visible spirit gum, a couple of extremely shaky matte paintings, and one of the most awkward kisses committed to celluloid that needed a few more rehearsals.
Overall, The Werewolf Versus The Vampire Woman is pretty great if you like stuff that sucks. I watched it on Youtube. Here's a bad-ass trailer:
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