Sunday, July 16, 2017

Release The Hounds

Contestants attempt to finish tepidly gory challenges at an allegedly haunted country estate surrounded by fencing and razor wire, and after finishing their obstacles and collecting the cash, get chased by dogs, which catch them and tear them apart.

The contestants must climb a fence to enter the estate, find a key within a haunted attraction style physical challenge, fill their backpack with cash, then escape by climbing over another fence while being chased by dogs.

I only watched one episode. Here's what transpired:

First obstacle: After searching the woods, the trio finds crucified scarecrows which projectile vomit fake blood upon them.

Second obstacle: Enter a blood spattered cabin filled with skulls, raw meat, and jars filled with anatomical specimens. In a crawlspace under the house filled with bloody rags, the key is within a medical cooler for organ transplants sewn within a gooey animal heart.

Third obstacle: Read a story to a haunted doll.

Release The Hounds is an unexpectedly alarming television program. It appears the planet has descended to the depths of the Most Dangerous Game, where people are now hunted for sport on television after being conditioned to burgle.

Resembling a far less interesting Battle Royale or Running Man, Release The Hounds is transparently scripted, and has the feel of a not-especially terrifying haunted attraction, only you're unconvincingly torn apart by animals if you fail to finish.

Watching Release The Hounds caused me to yearn for the witty, pre-dystopian days of Match Game and Hollywood Squares.

No comments:

Post a Comment