Thursday, February 20, 2014

Werewolves On Wheels

A group of bikers known as The Devil's Advocates visits an evil monastery in this dreadful 1970s horror film. Behaving more like hippies than bikers, they rough up some guy, read some Tarot cards, eat bread, and roll around in the grass. Someone gets vaguely bitten on the throat, and I think the film-makers confused vampires with werewolves and then decided to almost discard the werewolf angle entirely. Then the cast ate some more bread. I'm not entirely sure why.

Werewolves On Wheels consists primarily of headbands, aviator glasses, homoeroticism, setting things on fire, driving motorcycles out to the bleakest, most desolate areas of the desert, and filling up motorcycle gas tanks. The 3 pages of script consists of gibberish, barking, the cast members shouting the name Movie over and over again, lots of fire, and very few werewolves. The cinematography consists of beige panoramic shots of the desert and almost pitch-black campfire sequences. The dialogue consists of gems like, "Someone's controlling the vibe" and "MOVIE! MOVIE! MOVIE!". The action consists of rolling down hills. The entire film has a no-budget, forced surrealism similar to an Alejandro Jodorowsky film if Alejandro Jodorowsky directed a slightly surreal motorcycle-riding werewolf movie that has more bread in it than werewolves, and it's mildly recommended if you like stuff that sucks.

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