Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Killer Mermaid

Insufferable douches meet their end at the hands of a mermaid who lives in a well in this tedious Serbian horror film. Lovely scenery and images of a foreboding fort are marred by unconvincing boogieing and dodgy accents as a fun-loving group investigates an 'abandoned military base' while wearing Frederick's Of Hollywood-style swimwear, and it takes nearly an hour for the mermaid to put them out of our misery, and by 'put them out of our misery' I really mean 'wallow on the ground looking either seductive or a little nauseous as some other guy walks around and puts a giant hook through the cast's necks'. Featuring human chum in a bathtub, shaky cam, and a glaring Franco Nero, Killer Mermaid bores when it isn't eliciting unintentional snickers.

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