Monday, December 14, 2015

The Avenging Fist

In a Blade Runner-like future, where the Pollution Index Rating is Black, and the UV Index Rating is also Black, people ride hover boards, use way too much hair gel, and make phone calls by holding two fingers up to their ears, so it's a lot like now. Amidst jump cuts, quick edits, and less-than impressive special effects, people fight and say, 'Woo-hoo!'. Utilizing wire work and acrobatics, people float, spin, levitate, glow, and kick each other. Things sometimes explode.

Suddenly, people attempt drug-induced martial arts dancing, and Sammo Hung wears a shiny metal fedora. Then characters say, 'Hey!', 'Let's go!', and 'Your clothes look very tidy'. Then a fascist causes someone to fall into a pyramid cage containing a Pokemon, I think, and it tears him apart, and the fascist catches his eyeball. Two characters kiss while riding a overboard in front of an enormous moon to pop music accompaniment. Someone has a birthday party, and the cake is topped with a holographic stripper candle. Someone receives a toaster as a gift, and it contains a glove. People shoot each other with beams from the Forbidden Zone, and someone else can heat beverages with their hands.

More movie happens whether you want it to or not, and people shoot fire from their hands, wear neon clothing, call Sammo Hung fat repeatedly, and sometimes dissolve. The film ends with a terrific battle, and by 'terrific' I really mean 'confusing'. Lots and lots of stuff appeared to happen. What it was, I'm not sure.

The Avenging Fist has a nonsensical script, extravagant hair and costumes, mediocre martial arts, lackluster CGI, very little plot, and wire work where you can see the wire. It's recommended for people who like watching, but not playing, video games.

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