Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Battle: New York Day II



Schizophrenics are the only people left alive in New York after zombies attack in this low-budget horror film. I think. Honestly, I'm not sure because the intermittent sound made it difficult to hear pertinent dialogue. Seriously, shaky cam (and there's a lot of it) is one thing, but shaky mic is another. So, a woman talks with her psychiatrist on a pier because that seems likely, then there's an awful lot of walking. I'm not really sure why. Suddenly, a guy in a cardigan attacks! It's not very good. Then someone offscreen bangs on a synthesizer repeatedly that has been preset to Orchestral Stab in order to create an air of tension. It's loud, and not very good. Then more zombies attack, I think. The zombies aren't very convincing. They have a drop of blood dripping from their eyes as the only makeup to differentiate them from ordinary slow-moving people. Normally, I would be convinced that someone is definitely dead when they have blood dripping from their eyes, because people just don't survive once that happens. You're doomed. Anyone who's ever seen Horror Express knows that.


Yeah, if blood drips from your eyes, that could mean only one thing. It means you're on a train with Christopher Lee and Telly Savalas, there's a monster onboard with psychic brain-ensmoothening powers that causes people to bleed from the eyes, and you're in danger. Sadly, Battle New York II doesn't have any of those things, so maybe you should watch Horror Express instead.


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