Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Da Vinci's Darkest Secret

The tenuous connections between the Holy Grail, the Merovingians, the film The Matrix, and about a thousand other things is examined in exhaustive detail in this dull, convoluted, speculative documentary. After a lengthy drum solo which is totally fine, the film starts as if the narrator was in mid-thought. Amidst footage of sunsets and the sound of indistinct whispering, various historical etymologies are discussed at length, and Leonardo Da Vinci is barely even brought up. Bulls and snakes are mentioned quite a bit, and the film meanders about before pulling a Gotcha moment at the very end and telling the viewer *spoiler alert* the whole Da Vinci-Holy Grail-Merovingian-Matrix-connection thing was in your imagination. I'm going to let you in on a secret: Da Vinci's Darkest Secret is very, very boring and probably somewhat disappointing to conspiracy theorists.

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