Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Terrible Movies #146

Disclaimer: I have not seen the first Transformer film.

Plot: Things change into other things. Sometimes completely different things explode. This happens for 147 minutes.

Hundreds of millions of dollars made Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen a beautiful thing to watch. You can see a car-robot-thing climb some relatively recognizable world landmark and, with appropriately triumphant music and several lucrative product placements, see that car-robot-thing destroy that recognizable world landmark with just the right amount of lens-flare because it was conveniently shot during The Magic Hour in some distant locale and fiddled with in post-production using the latest CGI technology. Sadly, like a mink toilet lid cover or a solid gold douchebag, this film is simultaneously gaudy, opulent, confusing, garish, shiny, useless, offensive, and dumb. Run, run, run from this film like you're Shia LeBeouf on the Giza Plateau. I recorded it during one of those free pay channel cable weekends, and I may never get over it.

Here's a trailer, but considering this movie made over $400 million, you've probably already seen it and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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