Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Android Insurrection

Androids (I guess) battle humans (I suppose) in this derivative android insurrection film.

A group of leather-clad individuals unconvincingly shoot an unconvincing android carrying an unconvincing and slightly litigious light saber, and it looks a little bit like a Tom Petty video with light sabers and if Tom Petty was played by someone who resembles Drew Barrymore as the Bride Of Frankenstein in Blade Runner.

Wow, that's awfully abstruse, even for me. Here's a Tom Petty video, but it doesn't have any light sabers.

Actually, the Tom Petty video is slightly more convincing because the shaky cam and excessive lens flare in Android Insurrection tries to hide the fact that Android Insurrection looks cheap and phony. The Tom Petty video looks cheap and phony but it's a 30-year old music video and it's mercifully brief.

Anyway, people talk and talk, then they unconvincingly shoot at Transformers© that try to stay out of frame so you can't see how poorly rendered they are. Things seem to happen, like when people are killed off camera and dismembered by one of those auto factory robots that paint cars, but you don't really get to see it and the cast discribes it with unconvincing accents. You do get to see camera and boom shadows, some unconvincing android running, and a sort of always slightly out of frame CGI Hal-9000 robot spider thing, but it isn't very interesting.

Do androids dream of electric sheep? Well maybe, if they watch this tedious and boring film.

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