Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Back To The Future

My family and I sat down for Family Movie Night a few nights ago. Just to bring you up to speed, The Deathrage Family Movie Night consists of my family arguing for hours about which movie to watch and then not watching one. After clicking through the pay-per-view options and finding nothing to agree on, I stumbled upon the Back To The Future Trilogy. My children were astonished that I haven't seen any of the Back To The Future films, and I had to tell them that I develop an unsightly rash due to exposure to Michael J. Fox. It's embarrassing.

OK, fine. I will begrudgingly admit that I very much enjoy The Frighteners which unfortunately stars Michael J. Fox, but I think the anti-inflammatory properties of the bat-crap-crazy performance by Dee Wallace counteracts any negative effects from Michael J. Fox. Plus, it has ghosts, serial killers, and a haunted house.

Back To The Future has none of those things.

What Back To The Future does have is Huey Lewis.

Lots and lots of Huey Lewis.

OK, fine. Maybe not lots, but any is too much. Here's a music video by Huey Lewis:

Oops, it looks like someone replaced a dreadful Huey Lewis music video with a music video by Swans covering Joy Division's Love Will Tear Us Apart which is a relief, seems like a sensible thing to do, and is probably the antithesis of Huey Lewis.

Anyway, back to Back To The Future. So Huey Lewis unconvincingly rocks, Michael J. Fox appears overly blow-dried, and then MJF unconvincingly rides a skateboard amidst an unsettling amount of product placement which was probably the right thing to do considering the film was produced in an era of unrestrained Reaganite consumerism. Then MJF unconvincingly drives a DeLorean while a distracting Alan Silvestri score blares. In this Conservative 80's dream-world of popped Polo shirted phony Norman Rockwellesque crapola, modern life is littered with rubbish, filled with terrorists, covered hither and yon in graffiti, while everything in the 50s was squeaky clean and well-scrubbed. I'm not buying it. Here's a trailer for Back To The Future, but there's a couple of notes from a Huey Lewis song at the end. Don't say I didn't warn you.

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