Sunday, July 27, 2014

The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant

Legendary DJ and snazzy dresser Casey Kasem is pals with a mad scientist with a penchant for attaching superfluous heads to things in this less-than-incredible horror film. Bruce Dern shows off his forlorn rabbit with a phony rabbit head bandaged to it, and his forlorn monkey with a second forlorn monkey bandaged to it, and his snake that already had a second head, and then everyone stands around and wonders why his hideous creature with a second head attached to it suddenly dies, and maybe it's because living things don't often need a second head haphazardly attached to it and, I'm only guessing because I'm neither a legendary radio DJ nor a surgeon, probably rampant infection. Then a crazy criminal drinks milk from the bottle while driving in a maniacal fashion because I'm assuming it's in the script. A gigantic man wearing a sweatshirt with shoulder pads runs awkwardly, and I'm not sure why. The milk-drinking criminal now sporting two heads kidnaps a woman over and over again, and then someone makes her drink water. Why is it that whenever something traumatic happens to someone, they make them drink something? Does trauma make people thirsty? I'm not really sure. Then Casey Kasem shows up to save the day, and he's cavalierly dressed in a vaguely Seinfeld-esque puffy dress shirt with an enormous collar, a fashionable cravat, and a huge belt buckle, and by 'cavalierly' I don't mean 'in an offhand fashion' but I mean he looks like a swashbuckler. Zoinks.

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