Monday, July 21, 2014

The Visitor

An 8-year old girl plays Pong, causes basketballs to explode with the unconvincing power of her mind, and calls legendary director John Huston a bastard in this psychedelic sci-fi film. There's a rooftop full of bald guys, awkward editing, shaky camerawork, aliens wearing football helmets, and a score that doesn't seem to sync up with the action onscreen. John Huston looks uncomfortable and bemused, Shelly Winters roughs up a smart-alecky kid, and Glenn Ford has a cold sore and Hi-Def isn't doing it any favors. It's mortared with about a million failed layers of concealer, and they really should have used one of those invisibility cloaks from Harry Potter. The cinematographer tries to keep it out of frame by shooting Ford from the back in an arty fashion, but the darned thing keeps hogging the spotlight, chewing the scenery, and demanding a trailer.

Oops, someone replaced my video clip that doesn't exist of Glenn Ford's cold sore verbally abusing a makeup artist with a clip of a zit verbally abusing an advertising executive from the acerbic film How To Get Ahead In Advertising.

Anyway, while there are some striking images in The Visitor, there's also a LOL-worthy bird attack in a moving car that results in vitreous hemorrhage and incineration, and a inexplicable moment of ice skating and escalator riding. I'm not 100% sure what happened or why, but it was as entertaining as a feathered-haired Bad Seed freakout could be.

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