Monday, October 6, 2014

It Conquered The World

An okra with claws disrupts all electricity on Earth somehow in this sci-fi film. A jerk wearing a shorty robe keeps a computer and transmitter behind a curtain, and he has clandestine conversations with a Venusian lifeform which seems to bother his wife. After a poorly-rendered flying saucer crashes into a mountain, a vegetable with glowing eyes and lobster claws appears amidst stock footage of trains and cars. Suddenly, all the machines on Earth stop working, and people are forced to ride bicycles. Suddenly, a bat-like creature attacks a cop, hitting him in the back of the head, which naturally kills it. The cop throws the bat in a garbage can because I'm assuming they can't be recycled. Then another cop tries to strike one of these flying creatures suspended from wires with his gun, because people in the 50s with guns did everything but shoot with them.

Suddenly, Peter Graves says he's 'going to take a long, hard look' at something or other, and it's almost as though he's never seen Airplane.

Then there's a boom shadow, and a cop with an electrode attached to his neck. Someone screeches about their dropped doll, and someone else runs with a saxophone. More guns get waved about, and someone says they're going to 'fit all your fetishes' as if they've never seen Swamp Women.

Which isn't as surprising as never seeing The Man With Two Brains, and I can't even fathom that.

After someone in a slip is chased around and then strangled, someone says they're going to rustle some chickens and it's not what you think it is. Then a cop is comedically set on fire, and someone flings himself into the waiting, longing, remarkably immobile rubber claws of the monster for some reason. Then the movie ends, and it ends for a really long time.

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