Sunday, July 3, 2011

The Van: Terrible Movies #152

A car wash employee with a fondness for bell-bottoms purchases a customized van that's equipped with an 8-track, CB Radio and a toaster, then drives it around while soft country-tinged rock plays and gets into juvenile high-jinks. That's pretty much it. The cinematography constantly reminds you what an orange and yellow nightmare the 70's were. This film is strictly for van enthusiasts, people who are overly fond of the words turkey and dyn-o-mite, odd voyeurs who dig watching people drink Asti-Spumanti out of the jug, fans of fake fur covered vehicular waterbeds, folks who like to see the camera in every reflective surface, films that have been heavily and clumsily edited for content rendering it surprisingly chaste, or movie-goers who dislike scripts where words that aren't the word "van" seem to get in the way of their van ogling. How many times would you like to hear the hit single "Chevy Van"? 400 times? 500 times? You will. Nonsensical and laugh-free. I watched it on Netflix and will regret it the rest of my life. Here's a 25 second van-centric trailer that sums the entire film up:


  1. I really feel like I need to see this movie.

  2. That's my intent. By describing the awfulness in lurid detail I hope people would like to watch these movies so they can experience it for themselves.