Saturday, September 7, 2013


I've been very busy the past week or so, and I haven't had the time to watch as many movies as I'm accustomed to. Since Labor Day just happened, which is the official death of summer and the opening weekend of Halloween, I've been scouring the countryside for Halloween related items. I realize that many people don't like seeing Halloween items up so early, and those people are wrong. Halloween decorations should be up year round. In fact, most holidays could be easily replaced with Halloween. Instead of handing out valentines on Valentine's Day, hang up skeleton lights, eat miniature candy bars, and carve a pumpkin. Instead of the shooting off fireworks on the 4th Of July, hang up skeleton lights, eat miniature candy bars, and carve a pumpkin. Use your imagination and go wild.

Anyway, the products celebrating the most wonderful time of the year are starting to find their way to the sales-floor. I found these at Target:

They are a pale substitute for the most evil of all sandwich cookies, Halloween Oreos, but they'll do in a pinch. Speaking of Halloween Oreos, I purchased a decoy pack of The Most Evil Cookie and left it out for the family to devour in 14 seconds, and hid a second pack to enjoy while the family is asleep while watching monster movies. Sure enough, in 14 seconds the decoy pack was gone. I'll have to go get a couple more packages, you know, just to be safe, because once the Halloween Oreos are gone from shelves, it's an agonizing year filled with awful non-Halloween holidays until Halloween rolls around again in September.

Anyway, I've been watching movies, but I lost a couple of notebooks filled with the notes I took for my insightful movie reviews everyone is so fond of. When you have a billion of those little notebooks, they're easy to lose. I have a stack of them on my desk next to my voodoo candles, skulls, and pens, and I'm not sure which ones I used last. So I'm going to go ahead a wing the following reviews on memory alone. Wish me luck!

From what I recall, in the film Warning Shadows someone throws a pervy, boring dinner party where everyone is on the make for this one chick, and the ennui becomes so stultifying they resort to making hand shadows on the wall to entertain themselves. Everyone looks at each other out of the corner of their eye in a suspicious manner, then everyone dies, but then doesn't. This happens for 90 minutes.

Yes. Nailed it.

With Great Power: The Stan Lee Story is a fairly entertaining documentary about the comic book mogul. It's informative, touching and funny, but somewhat fawning. His wife is very charming, and they seem to have a great relationship. Also, there was something or other about superheroes.

2 for 2! I'm on a roll!

The Achievers: The Story Of The Lebowski Fans is a documentary about the cult fandom surrounding the now semi-classic Coen Brothers film. I liked The Big Lebowski; but if I recall correctly, wasn't it one very obscure dick joke? I don't recall, but I think it was. I don't have a problem with dick jokes, I'm just checking.

Yes, nailed it again.

The Last Will And Testament Of Rosalind Leigh is the story of a man who returns to his childhood home to find it's haunted and decorated in what could only be described as Drabby Chic or possibly Martha Stewart Home Decorating: The Cemetery Collection. Not that I have a problem with decorating your home with a million creepy figurines and headstones. I love it, and like I said, it should be done year round. Some people have a problem with it, and those people are wrong.

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