Monday, June 10, 2013

Beast Of Blood

Seemingly two movies in one; Beast Of Blood is part tedious jungle man-hunt, part gooey zombie head transplant film. Neither are very good. Sure, you get about 5 whole minutes of a maggoty, partially skeletonized monster with an ax who goes on a rampage on a ship, but it's abandoned pretty quickly for  an hour of machete-filled, sarong-filled, jungley hi-jinks involving a dude with a Conway Twitty haircut and sideburns. Then, after a little native girl "It's not you, it's me" romantic dysfunction, there's a brief head transplant surgery scene involving what appears to be a 5-lb beef brisket under anesthesia as someone says, "Reactivate the artificial head!" which seems fine. Beast Of Blood is cautiously recommended if you like stuff that sucks, but skip the middle hour or so.

Actually, just watch the trailer. You'll get the gist of it.

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