Monday, November 4, 2013

Blood For Dracula

Udo Kier plays a pale, aristocratic vampire in search of European virgins in this horror comedy. Udo stars as Count Dracula, and he wanders around Europe in the daytime while casually shielding his face from the rays of the sun with his hat, nonchalantly takes crucifixes down off the walls because he finds them mildly irritating, complains about garlic, eats vegetables, and twitches awkwardly on brass beds; so he doesn't really act an awful lot like Count Dracula. He vomits up blood that he drinks from a bunch of women who claim to be virgins but they aren't, and Joe Dallesandro tries to say the word 'whore' but says 'hoo-ah' instead for some reason. A forlorn oboe plays throughout on the soundtrack, and I sort of expected the Black Knight from Monty Python's Holy Grail to show up at the end and complain that "It's only a flesh wound". He doesn't, unfortunately.

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