Monday, November 18, 2013


Bloodsuckers from outer space or the ocean attack an Irish island, and the only way for the villagers to survive is to get drunk in this well-made horror comedy. Good acting and fine cinematography raise this film above others in the genre such as those often produced by The Asylum, but I couldn't help the fact that watching a CGI monster that looked like a rolling ball of tentacles brought back terrible memories I thought I had repressed from the time my frenemy Cthulhu spent several weeks sleeping on my couch.

All the alcohol that was flowing in Grabbers reminded me that Cthulhu left half-empty bottles of expensive craft beer everywhere and didn't replace them. Craft beer doesn't grow on trees, especially when the drinker of the craft beer didn't buy them, doesn't finish them, can't seem to find the recycling bin, and ain't got a freakin' job. His dirty socks and underpants littered my living room, and my entire penthouse smelled like dirty jeans, a ripe bleu cheese, and desperation. It was very unpleasant until I shoved him down an empty elevator shaft. I realize that falling down an open elevator shaft does nothing to an Ancient One, but it subtly let him know how I felt about the situation, and I'm all about subtlety.

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