Thursday, November 7, 2013

House II: The Second Story

Arye Gross moves into a haunted house, then the corpse of his great-grandfather drives him around in an Alfa Romeo Spider in this dreadful horror-comedy. Being the owner of an Alfa Romeo Spider, I have to say from experience that you'll never get the stench of rotting corpse out of the interior of your Alfa Romeo Spider if you drive your dead great-grandfather in it, even with the top down. It's going to take more than a few squirts of Febreze to freshen that up, let me tell you. If you're going to go on a joy-ride with the wisecracking frontier gibberish-spouting animated corpse of your great-grandfather, take the Kia.

Anyway, back to the movie. There's a poorly rendered crystal skull, a guy in a gorilla suit, a pterodactyl puppet, some unconvincing 80s pop music, and a turquoise bolo tie. House II: The Second Story was awful. Avoid it, if you can.


  1. I'm amazed that you managed to sum it up so perfectly in one sentence. I feel like the movie comes off even worse than it would have otherwise due to the first one having been so good.

    There's a special place in Hell for "sequels in name only".

  2. Thanks, that's awfully nice of you to say. The original House is a fun movie. House II is not.