Monday, November 4, 2013

Scatter My Ashes At Bergdorf's

Scatter My Ashes At Bergdorf's is a documentary examining the American Dream, and the American Dream is to be able to afford expensive items no one else can afford. Hey, don't get me wrong, I love expensive items as much as the next billionaire, because having expensive items no one else has is fun. Actually, having an item no one else has is fun regardless of price. Inspiring envy in others is inspiring. I don't necessarily have to spend $6000 on a pair of ugly shoes to feel elitist. I can happily spend $60 on a pair of ugly shoes and feel elitist, because I like ugly shoes no one else would ever wear and if I ever see anyone else wearing apparel I own it's dead to me forever.

If I were to ever go to one of those red carpet movie premieres (and I probably wouldn't) and someone were to ask me what I was wearing (and they probably wouldn't), I would gladly tell them I am wearing my vintage 80s Cocteau Twins t-shirt, my vintage belt with hot dogs on it I bought from Strange Cargo in Chicago, my Cheap Monday jeans with the skulls on the buttons, and my socks from Target with tacos on them. I could guarantee no one would be wearing that outfit, and probably no one would want to.

Anyway, I found one moment in Scatter My Ashes At Bergdorf's to be very ironic, where someone was recounting a story where a bag lady came in to Bergdorf's and was asking about a fur coat. The salesperson tried to be helpful, because if you're making $450,000 a year as a retail salesperson you'd better be helpful, and kept telling the woman that she couldn't afford the coat, and the bag lady reached into her shopping bag and pulled out a fat stack of cash to buy it. The person telling the story said, "You shouldn't judge a book by its cover, because you never can tell if a bag lady is carrying a bag of cash", and I have to call bullcrap on that. Everyone who shops at Bergdorf's WANTS to be judged by their cover, and pays a bag full of cash to have it done.

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