Friday, June 15, 2012

Death Smiles On A Murderer

From what I can tell, this jump-cut-y movie has something to do with a girl with unconvincing blonde bangs wearing complicated undergarments who has some sort of horse-drawn carriage accident, loses her memory, and gets involved in a love-triangle that needs a lot of Vaseline on the camera lens. I could be wrong, though. There are too many WTF and LOL moments to describe here, but I'm going to try. Pervy Dr. Klaus Kinski shows up; who conducts unconvincing physical exams and fiddles around with beakers filled with suspicious and murky liquids. I'm not sure why. Then people run along a path while carrying a suitcase while menacing chords are coaxed out of a piano. Then someone gets their face blown off by a shotgun. Then there's waltzing. I still don't know why. Then someone throws a pheasant, there's a near-drowning in a bathtub which sets up a largely off-camera lesbian tryst (and you can tell that happens because everyone sits around a table basking in the afterglow and eating oranges while looking longingly at one another while someone plays a saxophone), someone sports a houndstooth suit, someone wearing an evening gown who I can only asume has very little masonry experience builds a brick wall during a party after a couple of remarkably chaste sex montages, a cat hand puppet gouges someone's eye out, and someone wears a purple smoking jacket. I don't know why. The movie has quite a few corpses in it near the end, but you have to wade through some vaguely psychedelic crapola to get to them. Thankfully, there's only about 16 pages of screenplay so you don't have to worry about a plot, either. Death Smiles On A Murderer is everything that's wrong and right about the early 1970's, and probably had a lot of the people at the drive-in scratching their heads. Well, the folks who weren't high, I guess. I watched it on Youtube. Here's a slightly NSFW trailer due to a sudsy nip-slip:

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