Thursday, August 29, 2013

5 Dolls For An August Moon

Extravagantly dressed boors have a go-go party where they pretend to have an occult ritual and stab each other and run in circles around tropical foliage and then become alarmed where the partygoers actually start ending up stabbed in this uninteresting giallo film.

Those guys know how to party, right? If they're that darn bored, why don't they play some Pictionary? And nobody, and I mean nobody, is going to dance provocatively on my coffee table. I don't care how many Gin Rickeys I serve, you better get your dirty feet off my furniture.

So the cast looks suspiciously at one another for about an hour as the bodies start being hung in a meat locker, and someone's responsible. Well, for the murders, not the meat. I'm not sure why the meat is there. That seems like it wouldn't be very palatable, you know? Like, "Hey, were going to store the bodies in here next to tonight's dinner. How does boeuf bourguignon sound?" Maybe I'm wrong and don't know a lot about haute cuisine. Honestly, I like tater tots and Junior Mints, so I'm not an authority on how vacationers on secluded murder islands like their meat stored. I probably wouldn't hang the bodies next to of a side of beef, even if it looks good on camera. I would probably move the meat to a different corner of the meat locker away from the corpses, but they didn't ask me.

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