Monday, November 10, 2014

Count Yorga, Vampire

A vampire is on the loose in this derivative vampire film. After conducting a seance, a vampire attacks a couple doing a little candlelit humpty-dump in their unconvincingly stranded VW bus because it's the 1970s, and I'm pretty sure there was some sort of hippie-based law back then that required everyone to do a little candlelit humpty-dump in their VW bus.

Someone is busted eating a kitten, someone has a home blood transfusion, and a trio of poorly-focused and probably-important-to-the-finale lady vampires chill on some marble slabs. Some cable knit turtleneck sweaters make an appearance, and for some reason no one seems to think that the pretentious European count wearing a cape who just happened to move into the neighborhood castle just as some suspiciously vampire-like murders are being committed might be the vampire committing all the suspiciously vampire-like murders. Someone has the brilliant idea to try to talk the vampire to death over a few snifters of brandy, and it's just as interesting as it sounds. The lady vampires attack, some other stuff happens, then the movie ends. Or does it? Yeah, it does.

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