Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Attack Of The Beast Creatures

Several well-dressed people in a rowboat come ashore on a tropical desert island or Connecticut and are attacked by ankle-high doll-like creatures in this astoundingly terrible film. There's footage of people foraging for berries, several badly realized Beast Creature POV camera shots through ferns, and someone gets dissolved in a pool of acid and it's very gooey. Then the cast eats more berries. After some clumsy character development around a campfire, the Beast Creatures finally appear. They have glowing eyes and teeth, visible limb articulation, and stiff angry Cabbage Patch Doll-like faces. They're very bite-y. The attacks by the Beast Creatures consist of people holding Beast Creatures in place where they need to bite, screaming hysterically, and throwing the Beast Creatures against a tree. It's reminiscent of Trilogy Of Terror starring Karen Black and oddly compelling, but only if you like watching people walk through the forest, people eating berries, and people screaming hysterically because of bite-y dolls. I watched Attack Of The Beast Creatures on Youtube, and it's highly recommended if you like stuff that sucks. Here's a fantastic clip where someone shouts "My Leg!":

Yeah, that happens a lot.

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