Wednesday, January 2, 2013


Billionaire is a horror film recounting the story of Larry Hillblom, the billionaire founder of DHL, whose estate was beset by several paternity lawsuits after his death from a plane crash. I am going to make a New Year's resolution that in 2013 I will not watch any more movies about billionaires in peril. It's incredibly unnerving. Watching movies about billionaires no longer being able to afford to finish building their 90,000 square foot homes and having their illegitimate offspring coming after their fortunes keeps me awake at night. I kind of worked sort of hard for my fortune, and I want to keep it. I will decide who I will or won't share it with (which means I probably won't) and no one else. I definitely do not want strangers or politicians or poor people shaking me down for cash and prizes. It's bad enough that my children are dividing up my estate, and I'm not dead yet. They do it right in front of me. They take tubs full of DVDs and plunder my bank accounts. I'm putting a stop to that. I've decided that hundreds of years from now when I finally tire of this world and perish, I want to be buried beneath Deathrage Towers, have it imploded with all my stuff inside it, and have a monument built on top. NBD.

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