Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Saturday The 14th

An oblivious family inherits a cursed mansion in this corny, cliched, schticky horror comedy. There's candles, cobwebs, creaking doors that open and close by themselves, and Jeffrey Tambor from Arrested Development playing a vampire of sorts. There's also a TV that only plays the Twilight Zone, a Book Of Evil, wooden acting, and hokey jokes. There's also onion dip, a Barbra Streisand joke, and a snarling Paula Prentiss crawls on the floor. The family wanders around their house and ignores obvious signs of danger like a severed head on the table, bats in the belfry, threatening messages scrawled in the condensation collecting on the kitchen window, and monsters having a midnight snack and emptying out the fridge. Who does that? I'm fairly oblivious, too, but even I would have noticed my fridge being empty.

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