Monday, January 14, 2013

Nazis At The Center Of The Earth

Dominique Swain unconvincingly drills an unconvincing drill through 2 inches of unconvincing snow and unconvincingly strikes the unconvincing wing of an unconvincing Dr. Mengele's plane in unconvincing Antarctica in this shot-almost-entirely-in-close-up-so-no-one-notices-how-cheaply-made-it-is Asylum film. There's a lot of unconvincing CGI and green screen effects, lots of unconvincing face-removals, and a convincing Jake Busey; and by a 'convincing Jake Busey' I mean I actually believe he's in this movie but never once did I believe he was anything other than a villain. He's a walking Spoiler Alert.

Anyway, this film contains rotting Nazi soldiers, a steam-punk swastika-ed UFO, and just when you think you've seen it all but happening exactly when you expected it to, a Hitler Transformer. In conclusion, Nazis At The Center Of The Earth is badly realized Hollow Earth Aryan soft-core torture porn that's surprisingly short on the soft-core and the torture while still being extremely distasteful, and that's exactly what I expected.

No comments:

Post a Comment