Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The Addams Family

Grifters attempt to steal the wealth hidden beneath a family's home in this suspenseful drama. Using swords, trapdoors, secret passages, and one aborted musical number; the family bravely battles against thieves who would not only take their enormous stash of gold coins but their entire way of life. I can completely relate to the plight of the Addams Family. They've toiled for decades to accumulate savings for their family, only to have it ripped from them by people who don't deserve it or the IRS. I'm not sure which, but it's definitely one or the other. My accountants on the 6th and 7th floors of Deathrage Towers do that for me. I didn't acquire my vast fortune only to have the IRS steal 8 or 9% of my wealth and disperse it to the 47% of the lazy, shiftless, jobless vampires in this country who'll just spend it on cable television so they can watch Honey Boo Boo. Or they might spend it on Funyuns. Honestly, I'm totally out of touch with the 47% of the country that wants to take my wealth from me, and I'm not sure what they do. I acquired my vast fortune so I can acquire more of everything, and that's what makes this country great. What makes this country great is freedom, and money, and me. I hope that the Addams Family learned a valuable lesson, and instead of hoarding their doubloons in a dark, cobwebby, subterranean vault, they now keep it in a secure off-shore account. I watched The Addams Family on pay-per-view. Here's a trailer:

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