Monday, June 9, 2014

Old Dracula

Unsuccessfully riding the coattails of Young Frankenstein, David Niven is miscast as Dracula in this cringeworthy horror-comedy. Old Drac isn't as young as he used to be, which makes sense, and in order to awaken his mostly-dead wife Vampira he invites tourists to visit his castle. After drugging these Playboy Playmate tourists, he withdraws blood from them in his odd dormitory style guest-room. Giving his wife the blood, her race changes from white to black. That's totally fine and hardly offensive at all. Dracula then pursues them back to London to get more blood to change her back because apparently being black in the 70s isn't OK and needs to be fixed. Again, that's totally fine and hardly offensive at all. Dracula takes a walk past some grindhouse theaters while the cameraman has trouble keeping the camera from shaking, and one of the theaters is playing a film titled Snow White And The Seven Perverts. Dracula stops a mugger, someone places their phony vampire teeth on top of a urinal, then everyone disco dances.

Old Dracula is just awful; with voiceover narration, creaky jokes, a runaway airport shuttle bus, a coffin with a retractable glass lid, lots of silk negligees, beakers of blood, unconvincing airplane turbulence, a quilted folding travel coffin, several camera shadows, and mostly-clothed Playmates given very little to do.

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