Tuesday, September 16, 2014


Fitness club members wearing leotards get killed with an oversized safety pin because it's the 80s in this feeble horror film. A woman is trapped in a gym's tanning bed as it catches fire, and the continuity editor can't seem to figure out if she's facing up or down. Then people do what someone thinks is exercise to vapid, derivative synth music as narrative.

After someone is murdered, a detective picks up a piece of evidence with his bare hands because forensics. Then there's frosted tips, short shorts, mullets, headbands, and an epic battle with a rake. I don't know an awful lot about aerobics, police work, yard work, or work in general, but I'm assuming someone who just got stabbed in the leg with a rake might not be able to knock someone out with a backward flying roundhouse kick, and that a perfectly healthy cop wearing cowboy boots should be able to catch him during an extended, fence-climbing chase scene, in spite of the obvious stunt double.

Aerobicide is confusing, poorly mic'd, and unpleasant, and should only be of interest to leg-warmer enthusiasts.

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