Monday, September 15, 2014

The Million Eyes Of Sumuru

Sexy chicks unconvincingly kill people in this tedious spy drama featuring a spy who wears a sheer polo top, looks suspiciously like a high school science teacher, and who also starred in the legendary film Robot Monster. Featuring unconvincing punches, unconvincing chases, unconvincing alarms, unconvincing heterosexuality, and Frankie Avalon in a sleazy role where he gives the spy a bouquet of cactuses, there's also wooden acting and dialogue that seems less like dialogue than partially forgotten and just remembered non-sequiturs. Sure, theres'a lot of chicks running around in bikinis, but there's also a creepy Klaus Kinski handing someone his foot and wearing a silk kimono.

BTW, I checked and double checked, and everyone in The Million Eyes Of Sumuru seemed to have the appropriate number of eyes.

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