Thursday, September 11, 2014

Wrestling Women Vs. Doctor Of Doom

Extravagantly coiffed female wrestlers battle hooded villains in this luchadora film. Here's what transpired: A brain surgeon uses a paint brush to draw a crude circle on the scalp of a woman he's going to perform surgery on, then he grabs a side of beef and hurls it at a disfigured, shirtless man in a cage. Someone shouts at their grandma on the phone, then someone gets kidnapped by taxi. A masked man throws some cops, then a bunch of women wearing leotards dogpile on one dude.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I'm not able to embed the classic Warner Brothers cartoon "A Hare Grows In Brooklyn" where Bugs Bunny says "Dog pile on the rabbit" because they don't want me to be happy. Instead, enjoy this clip of Witch Hazel.

After about ten more minutes of wrestling, there's a lingerie clad beat down as two men climb in a window, interrupting a slumber party as a jazzy tune plays on the soundtrack. There's a bit more wrestling, and someone gives some chicks an I-Watch.

For some reason, two guys are thrown into a room with a slowly moving wall covered in spikes. I don't know an awful lot about how to properly tenderize a human, but I have seen a lot of cooking shows on the Food Network. What I learned is that to prepare a piccata, human or otherwise, you should vigorously flatten a human between two pieces of waxed paper, and not with a caged, disfigured, shirtless wrestler.

Then there's acid, fire, explosions, more brain transplants, and table flipping.

It's not very interesting. Then there's about ten more minutes of wrestling.

In an effort to elude capture by the police after nearly choking out everyone at the wrestling match, the masked brain-transplanted female wrestler climbs a water tower, and we all know how that's going to play out.

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