Monday, January 24, 2011

Dark Portals: The Chronicles Of Vidocq: Terrible Movies #40

Gerard Depardieu battles a villain in a golden helmet to Carl Orff's Carmina Burana in France just before the Revolution. Claustrophobic and frenetically shot on digital video with almost no sense of negative space, and directed by Pitof (Golden Raspberry winning director of Catwoman). The camera swoops, dives, twists and turns as if on a gyroscope. Meticulously CGI'd and art directed within an inch of its life, and every shot is crammed full of something. When the camera isn't artfully shooting through wagon wheels or swooping down from the ceiling or hovering mere inches from cobblestones, you get extreme closeups where you can count nostril hairs. No take lasts more than 15 seconds, and there's almost no room to breathe. Nonsensical. If you insist on watching, it's on Netflix Instant Streaming, but you should dose up on Dramamine first.

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