Monday, January 10, 2011

Curse Of The Swamp Creature: Terrible Movies #23

A mad scientist throws a body into an enclosed swimming pool/alligator infested swamp (due to editing, it's hard to tell which is which), then he gets choked by some guy, who then gets stabbed by a completely different guy. Then the credits roll. A thumbnail sketch of a plot unfolds involving maps and oil and alligator/human hybridization. Sets seem to consist of heavily curtained motel rooms. Action seems to consist of walking along lengthy paths or through various backyards, although a man subdues another man 20 years younger, 6 inches taller, and 50 pounds heavier with the weakest karate chop ever filmed. Primary forms of communication consists of banging on oil drums or hollow logs, although earlier in the film someone answers a phone that isn't dialed and doesn't ring. Costumes consist of lab coats with pocket protectors and prescription sunglasses. Pastimes include whittling. There's voodoo for a minute with a poorly choreographed 'snake dance' that barely includes a snake, but that would be interesting and the film-makers discard it fairly quickly. The film goes completely off the rails during the last 20 minutes, when continuity is abandoned and I can only assume the script has been lost and everyone seems to just make up stuff on the spot to stretch for time and fill plot-holes; for instance, saying a lake is quicksand does not make it so, and the same has to be said for calling a clearly male alligator monster a woman. Seems months longer than an 81 minute run-time, and 95% swamp creature free. Amazingly bad in every way possible. On Netflix Instant Streaming.

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