Wednesday, January 5, 2011

I watch terrible movies so you don't have to #14: King Kung Fu

A Grade-Z chuckler where a gorilla trained in kung-fu travels to America and is forced atop the tallest building in Wichita, Kansas. Features gorilla-themed slapstick, Coors beer can pyramids, waxed mustaches, wood paneling, Pizza Hut waitresses, pink fuzzy rear-view mirror dice, customized vans and many snazzy sport-coats. Racially and culturally offensive, laugh-free, and loaded with stale knee-slappers Vaudeville or the Keystone Kops would've rejected as corny. Burdened with a distracting Benny Hill meets Charlie's Angels soundtrack containing muted "stripper" trumpet, slide whistles, sad trombones, and whatever makes that "boi-oi-oinnng" sound often heard in Roadrunner cartoons. Also noted for having many location shots of scenic Wichita from the 70's when I couldn't imagine it looked its best. Did you know Wichita has a theme song, and it's not by Glen Campbell? Neither did I. Approximately 95% kung-fu free. So insipid I think I've shortened my lifespan by watching this film. On Netflix Instant Streaming.

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