Thursday, January 6, 2011

I watch terrible movies so you don't have to #15: Born To Race

Boy sees girl at a race track during a pit-stop, she's kidnapped, a low-speed car chase ensues, and I seriously contemplate removing my own head to stop myself from watching this movie. Featuring more product placements, chambray shirts, denim jackets and bandana neckerchiefs than you should be legally allowed to show onscreen. Nearly every moment is filled with that generic mid-eighties synth and guitar laden soundtrack that makes John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band seem derivative; and as if that wasn't bad enough, includes two Richard Marx tunes to really ramp up the thrills. Curiously, contains two of the slowest car chases I've ever seen (one of which was foiled by outhouse), and they may have sped the film up to make it seem more exciting. If you're looking for a movie where men over-emote, the two women in the cast have 37 different hairstyles, where inconsistent accents drift in and out of the scene like an exotic perfume on the breeze, and dialogue consists of sparkling gems like "Let's go!" and "Do you find Italy different from America?", this Bud's for you. I can't be certain, but this may be what Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby was modeled after, only sans the humor and charm. Almost 65% racing free. On Netflix Instant Streaming.

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