Thursday, January 20, 2011

The Day The Earth Froze: Terrible Movie #36

Narration opens the film over idyllic shots of goats in a field, trees being felled, and a dude standing on a log who rides it down rushing rapids. Squirrels gambol and birds flit about on a tree branch. Villagers in long white beards stand around looking like a Santa Claus convention. Some chick in a headband is captured by a witch, so of course some dudes need to go rescue her. The witch is pretty kick ass, and the movie suffers when she's not around, but that's generally the way it is with villains in movies. There's fire and brimstone, and various spells are cast, usually involving some really long Finnish words they don't explain thoroughly. Some imaginative special effects are used, like when a road turns into a gigantic man, or when the witch steals the sun; but overall the film is overwrought and impenetrable like a Finnish J.R.R. Tolkein novel. On Netflix Instant Streaming.

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